.give aways.
"If I knew that this could be
A total catastrophe
I probably would have told you a little sooner
so you wouldn't get hurt"
ONE day into leaving Gainesville...and we're already having problems and throwing subliminal jabs at one another. *sigh*
I have a problem taking my own advice sometimes I see. I think everyone has this problem though if they are ever honest with themselves...so I'll leave this whole thing alone and just blog about some generic topic that could or could not be related. *chuckle*
Anyway--before I begin with the relationship stuff, I have to show some happiness!! I got an internship with Comcast SportsNet! Now all that I have to do is pray that UF doesn't try to ruin it for me...but I should be fine. The lady on the phone was nice, my friend who has taken an internship said that everything should work out. Also...I'm fully enjoying this new house that my parents invested in thanks to the tragic economy, this house was more affordable--and it is bomb I must admit, I think they said they're installing a pool in the backyard eventually which I am super excited for since I'm natural and no longer have to worry about my relaxed hair getting jacked up. BAM. Hop in the pool, hop in the shower...good to go. lol.
Now onto this blog piece.
So today I was having my quiet time with God. I had been slacking, but it felt good to get a good hour and some change in with the big man. So I had been kinda pondering about having closure with all my relationship woes. Things have been interesting and once again I am left saying why did I choose to date my best friend? eh, it is what it is. I've learned that you can't be mad about situations and how they turn out--back to quiet time. So I've been reading through Mark and today I read Mark 8 through 10, and I hit that hard hitting Mark 9:43-48 which says if anything causes you to sin, cut it off. Now I've read this time and time again and it's affected me before, but something told me to keep on reading (had to be God) sooooo I did, and that's when I got to my *bang* moment. Mark 10:29-30.
So I have a minor issue with loneliness, not gonna lie. I have always kinda feared being alone and I voiced this to my small group. Basically I had asked what do you do when you are feeling lonely...like I know that you turn to God, but what happens when you really are seeking and desiring humans? I know it sounds semi-crazy, normal people would be like, just call your friends.
1. I don't chill with that many of my friends in NC, partially because I go to school in Florida.
2. I don't have anyone outside of family in NJ and sometimes you just need a break from them.
My SG girls said to call them and also to really embrace God, like that it's hard, but once you allow your heart to get in a good spot with God, it helps. I also kinda learned that when I start to feel overwhelmed and need a break...music and nice weather help...getting out in nature.
So back to Mark 10:29-30. I was like struggling mentally...you know when females have this idea that what they have/had is the best they will ever get? I hate that. I hated feeling like I hit the top of the top even though I didn't feel like I had...idk if that makes sense...anyway, I'm thinking about how I had tried to give it up and couldn't quite do it--and then this scripture came along.
29 " I assure you," Jesus said, "there is no one who has left house, brothers or sisters, mother or father, children, or fields because of Me and the gospel, 30 who will not receive 100 times more, now at this time —houses, brothers and sisters, mothers and children, and fields, with persecutions—and eternal life in the age to come.
Which kinda reminded me that what I'm giving up--I'll get back.
...or I will get something better, and by better I mean something meant especially for me. Take it how you want it...say that I'm misconstruing the words in the Bible to say what I want it to say, but this (in my eyes) is saying that if you give something up for the right reasons (ie. not doing it because you want something better, but giving it up because you truly feel that it will enhance your relationship with whatever deity you believe in) you will get it back or get something better for you.
Anyway, hope this fell upon the right eyes & ears.
Oh yeah--and holla at me on TWITTER if you haven't. lol.
twitter.com/beserious1
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*the scriptures youhighlighted were really encouraging :-)
that one says
thank you Robyn. =) I realized that having this has helped me because I start typing and then whatever I'm feeling on the inside starts leaking out...lol...