Butterfly
“fairytales come and take my hand
turn the page and help me understand
maybe i’ll fall in love again
if i know how the story ends…”
this is bad.
this is very very bad.
am I the only one who has ever really wanted to ask God to just come down to earth so you could have a one-on-one? I mean, I know I'm not the only one, but times like these I just want a freaking cellphone to ring and for the first words to be from Jesus...and if I could ask Him one question...I won't ask what my purpose is...I won't ask him what I will do with my life...I won't ask anything that even really is all about me...my only question is going to be...
"When will it be the right time?"
God--hear my plea, right now. I am begging for you to come in and fix this broken heart. Fix this troubled soul. Make me better. I am tired of this helpless feeling that seems to just ooze through me. I'm tired of the failures...one upon another upon another...Lord, why can't I get it right? WHY? And I'm not even talking about [him] I'm talking about EVERYTHING. My job. My school work. My family. My car. My "friends." My friends. My money. My clothing. My body.
Why isn't anything ever enough.
This is me having a minor breakdown.
and maybe I shouldn't be putting this up here...
but times like this, i don't care.
All I want is to feel arms around me telling me that everything is going to be okay and reassure me that all my words of "it will all be worth it in the end" are not in vain. And I know they aren't but I need someone...and I don't know who that someone is...but I need someone to swoop in and save the day...save my life. I know Jesus did it...but I need someone here on this earth. Something tangible. And I don't mean a boyfriend and I don't mean a husband...but I just need something...something to make it all real.
Dear God,
This is my prayer. Please fix it all. Lord I need you to be with K, D, J, C, A...and everyone else that helps me and that I've helped. But God...I need a sign or something...because I'm tired of crying...and I'm tired of trying to fill my time...I just want to be made better. I love you Lord...and I'm crying out to you. Please do this for me because I feel like I've given it all up for you and I'm not saying you aren't real, I'm just saying I need some comfort...please.
4 teardrops:
these words so so beautiful.
i've been trying to find the right words to say how i've felt for the past year and these are it. i am not even religious and i wish upon everything that he'll just take a few minutes out of a day to just make it all stop. do you mind if i link to this entry on my most recent blog?
that one says
Not at all!
I'm happy that you were able to connect with it. =)
Bianca Lynn says
I completely agree! There are times and times again where I fall to face in worship to God. I don't understand why we go through the things that we do. I feel that it's a reminder that we need to stay on track with the Lord, rather than the world. God is there, wiping our tears, we are just thinking to much about what we have in mind rather than him. It's not easy but it's worth it. He's there and He's just making sure that you remember that and know it. I was so involved in the church and sadly I've seen my decline, and with it I see all the pain that's come into my life, but God is there. You are truly not alone. Keep your head up and your eyes on the Lord.
:]
that one says
thanks for your words...especially the part about how we think too much about what we want rather than what He wants for us...and I definitely will keep my head & eyes to the Lord.
=)