dreamworld...
"Why do people smile when no one’s smiling?
Its cause their thinking of someone they’re loving
Keep on believing we are meant to be and
Nothing’s stopping you and me from going to heaven."
So I'm taking a break from writing those reaction paper things...but I have 19 left...which means I've written 12...my friend put me on to the title song for the blog. Personally I love working to mellow music, and this song certainly qualifies. It's by Robin Thicke who just happens to be my Caucasian lover...right up there with Justin Timberlake, lol.
This will not be a love post.
Reading that line made me think back to middle school..."why do people smile when no one's smiling" In the 8th grade there was a girl and her name was...Sylvia I think...or something. She was kinda fat, dark brown clear skin, really nice weave, and a few crooked teeth...(I'm more of a face person than a name person) and she came up to me one day...real rude...
"Why you smile so much?! You come here everyday smiling and looking happy! You must be hiding something or doing drugs because nobody is ever happy as you are all the time."...and that was so funny to me. I mean, c'mon! We were in the 8th grade! What kind of worries could I have really had? Mind you, I did have a lot of worries, many of them were genuine, but they were never worries about my own life...only about the lives of my friends because THEY had some issues. My life was pretty carefree and happy...and there are days when I wish that my time here in college would be the same way.
I know it won't be that way, but it's a wish...that's how it would be in my dreamworld (if I had to go to college in my dreamworld--negative.) I always wonder why things got so complicated in college for everyone. All of a sudden people are worrying so much about other people's opinions that they miss the point as to why they're even in college. Personally I came to the University of Florida to...
- get away from my parents...
- ...while still getting in-state tuition.
- get the degree I want from an amazing school
- hopefully make some new ties
now has that happened? Well...yeah. I'm in Florida, my parents are in North Carolina, I'm still getting in-state tuition, I'm still taking classes and passing (though this semester sure has been crazy) and I'm making some new friends...breaking off a lot of ties...but maintaining some of them. Yet somehow other goals got caught up in the mix...some good (get an internship, get a boyfriend husband...I'm tired of boyfriends...psssh, get in shape, etc.) and some that aren't necessarily BAD, but they aren't in my best interest. Things like wanting to impress other people to the point where I got lost...and I'm not saying that I'm weak, but I know that wasn't a strong move.
"In person I am everything and more
I'm everywhere these other niggas never been before
But inside I'm treadin waters steady tryin to swim ashore"
I guess that line describes my freshman year experience at UF...I almost drowned and lost myself and things just...fell apart...but I bounced back, and that's the important part. I almost left the school...I almost did a lot of things, but it didn't happen that way. There was a bigger plan, but after a summer of separation, I made a choice to live for me and Him.
Best decision of my life.
Life may not be perfect, but it surely is a lot better than it was then. Looking back a year from where I am today, I never would have thought I'd make it this far. I was so alone, in a bad relationship, and just...not where I needed to be. At all *stops musing to self* it happens. We get off track, but it's never too late to get back where you need to be.
On the path that leads you to your dreamworld...
[oooh...I'm so corny...and I don't even care. lol]
lovelove.
♥
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"it's my dreamworld, and I wanna live in my (dream)... oh the real world, just don't seem right..."
I ♥ that album. And Robin Thicke as well :)
And that chick sounds like she had some issues of her own. I mean, dang, can't somebody smile if they wanna? lol.
that one says
I know right? People just can't wait to bring somebody down!
It's so sad.